Pass the mush, we're in hospital now

Last week I had my first taste of hospital food. How did I come by hospital food? My grandmother was admitted to hospital and her condition was looking critical so I flew down to Sydney to visit her. Her lunch arrived – she didn’t have any appetite (the woman had an appetite that would shame us all in her younger years) so I ate some of it. I thought at the time, this isn’t as bad as people say it is. Then I changed my mind when I saw what she was served for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hospital food is, at best, tolerable, for a day or two. Stretch it out three times a day, five , six, seven days in a row and you start to see a pattern – a very repetitive one. I was there for four days and was already bored with the menu. Yes, I know hospital food is not meant to be palatable but patients have to eat in order to regain their strength, surely. In my research about hospital food, I came across a couple of articles about vulnerable patients in hospitals suffering from malnutrition. Read about malnutrition in hospitals.

I didn’t think it was polite to take photographs of my grandmother’s hospital meals do I didn’t. Readers out there will have to use their imaginations. I was surprised to see the number of non-nutritious food items that is being served up in our hospitals. The next time you're visiting someone in hospital - look around you - sugary juices, syrupy fruits and spongey white bread abound. On the menu featured items like two fruits, chicken and gravy, lamb and gravy, seasonal vegetables, tuna pasta bake, mashed potato, rice pudding and apple or orange juice. What they mean by fruit is individual servings of fruit in syrup – the kind you peel off a plastic tab and dig a spoon in. Fresh fruit is an apple (not so appropriate when the patient can’t really eat and has dentures). Chicken is an anaemic rubber ball, potatoes dry, sweet potato water logged, beans leathery and tough as old boots. This is what I suspect lies in wait for most public hospital patients. Perhaps readers who have been in private hospitals have a different experience?

My grandmother gathered up her strength to screw up her face when I lifted the lid of her lunch. A plate of indeterminate meat slathered in packet gravy, surrounded by hunks of sweet potato, potato and beans. She turned away and said feebly, I can’t eat that. A Caucasian woman who was sharing my grandmother’s ward; when I asked her what she was having for lunch – she stopped chewing and stopped for several seconds then said, rather embarrassedly, I don’t know what meat this is.

You have to eat, I said, to get better. Deep down, I wouldn’t have wanted to eat that either to tell the truth. She managed about a quarter of a potato and a mouthful of sweet potato. My mother and I ended up making her some thin fish congee and some vegetarian noodles the next couple of days. Her lunches and dinners continued to arrive – they sat untouched.

Cultural diversity must be a pain to address in public health settings. We often forget that Australia is becoming so much more multicultural these days; as a result, we end up alienating a large part of the population that end up in hospitals don’t eat the Anglo-Saxon way. Yes, it’s convenient and easy to roast a hunk of meat, chuck a heap of beans and potatoes in a big pot and forget about it. I can appreciate the logistical nightmare of cooking for a niche group but some considerations for menu planning would be so much appreciated by patients. If hospitals presented better quality, better thought-out food, patients will eat more and faster, regain their strength a lot quicker and hopefully leave these dire places pronto. This youtube clip about hospital food pretty much sums it up!

While I write this, my grandmother is still in hospital, no doubt wanting to get better faster but very likely refusing another round of chicken in gravy and two fruits. Maybe Jamie Oliver should start a Ministry of Better Hospital Food for All Vulnerable Patients?